3 mindful moves to press the mute button on confrontation at work!
It’s the beginning of another stressful month – at least it seems that way…. You may be getting to the point where one more conversation with the Accounts Team (why do they have to be so bloody logical?) will press your ‘crumple buttons’ and you may well blow a fuse! Add to this your performance […]
It’s the beginning of another stressful month – at least it seems that way…. You may be getting to the point where one more conversation with the Accounts Team (why do they have to be so bloody logical?) will press your ‘crumple buttons’ and you may well blow a fuse!
Add to this your performance management pantomime is due and you are not overly keen on the person they put in charge of managing your performance ; you wonder how it is you can possible get through the week, let alone the month without losing the plot…
Other people’s ‘stuff’ can be a short cut to your stress levels reaching fever pitch and you really do need to watch your blood pressure, so relax and I will share with you my 3 Mindful Moves to pressing the Mute button on possible Confrontation with Calm in the workplace:
- Create your own self- hypnosis strategy for Calm. I don’t necessarily mean setting up a Feng Sui corner on your desk next to the potted palm but you can create a Calm Strategy which will act as a de-stress Self Hypnosis program to reduce your need to react to stress. When I work with clients, I help them to create an image of a place which they typically find calming, maybe a beach they found on holiday, a walk in a quiet forest or even sitting in their garden at home. I then ask them to recreate this image in as much detail as possible noticing exactly what they can hear, see and feel as they imagine this moment. Link a calming Anchor to this and you have a multi-sensory response to help your mind and body create a calming release. Spending a few minutes in this frame of mind will help you press the reset button and avoid reacting in the moment.
- Manage your own state. I teach clients how to do just this with perspective work (I have used this successfully in teaching in the past too) This technique is ideal when you find yourself ‘in the middle of the tension storm and possible about to blow off steam’. I physically take a step back from the situation or take a step to the side and imagine I can see my own self standing next to me – this helps me to disassociate myself from my current emotions and take a much-needed pause before I react. I use a calm anchor and ask myself the question “Do I need to respond right now?” If the answer is ‘no’ then I tell the person I will speak to them in a few minutes when I have gathered my thoughts. I the situation requires a response then I deliberately take a breath and make a mental note to think through my response before I react: It is proportionate? Is it accurate? Is it helpful?
- Timeline Strategy & Ecology Check I use this hybrid approach of two Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques to help visualise and consolidate what it is that I need in order to get to the next level or achieve the next goal. Visualising a future conversation with the Accounts Department and creating a positive outcome with mental rehearsal strategies can be very useful in boosting confidence and working through the conversation in a positive manner avoiding any stress triggers. The Ecology check is useful as I ask myself, “If I could have what I wanted would I want it now? If so, who would it affect both negatively and positively” This kind of mindful perspective work allows you to work through future scenarios in your own time, rehearsing things that others may say e.g. objections.
There are lots of different self- hypnosis strategies that I teach clients for their own individual situations. As well as teaching Mindfulness for Business situations. Should we talk?