Six Ways to Super Charge your Self Care
Does Your Self Care lack Sparkle? Time to supercharge your self-care, my dear! Rome wasn’t built in a day they say but then neither was self-care, self- confidence or emotional resilience. My clients often tell me they wish they had more time to do the things they want to do but others seem to demand […]
Does Your Self Care lack Sparkle? Time to supercharge your self-care, my dear!
Rome wasn’t built in a day they say but then neither was self-care, self- confidence or emotional resilience. My clients often tell me they wish they had more time to do the things they want to do but others seem to demand more and more of their energy. As a therapist, I know how vital self- care because it doesn’t just mean a nice bath or a nice lunch; in order to feel the benefit it needs to be something consistent. Why not grab a few minutes now and read my six-minute blog on six ways to supercharge your emotional well-being in just six days!
Day 1: Self Care leads to Self-Confidence.
Where are you on your ‘to-do list’? Chances are your needs are at the very bottom and even the dog comes higher up the self care list than you! One of the quickest ways is to boost how you feel about yourself is to do something you love whether it’s a small spend on a luxury product or a larger investment on a course or workshop. I have spent thousands over the last ten years – at first I was nervous about spending money on myself then I realised that I was my business so anything spent on me was an investment in that business – I am glad I invested.
The first step in recognising self-worth is to invest more time appreciating who you are. Today, your goal is to write down at least 10 things that you can invest time doing to enhance your wellbeing.
Day 2: De-cluttering – creates mental space too.
Clearing the clutter can lead to clearing space for other possibilities. Firstly, the clothes you wear and how you feel in your own skin can make a real difference to your well- being. Too often, we sabotage ourselves by continuing to wear or hold onto clothes that are detrimental to our confidence because it either seems a waste to throw them away, we think they might come back in style or in my case that somehow I might fit into them again! De-cluttering is a healthy way to release old energies and even older identities. Why hang on to that sensible pair of shoes when you really want taxi shoes? Done regularly in small doses, de-cluttering is actually quite therapeutic. With that in mind, your mission for today is to go through your wardrobe and take out every itchy jumper, pair of too tight trousers, and faded blouse you own and send to the charity shop or the re-cycle bin, keeping only the items that make you feel like the real you. I believe it was William Morris who said do not keep anything in your house unless you know it to be useful or beautiful. Feeling a bit overwhelmed by this thought? Just start with one drawer at a time.
Day 3: Self- belief: setting small goals
Actress Cate Blanchett once said that she enjoys making to-do lists for the sheer pleasure of crossing the tasks off her list one-by-one. While you may or may not feel the same way, (sometimes to-do lists can feel also overwhelming!) there is still something to be said about how accomplishing a small goal can dramatically boost one’s self-worth. However, you can’t reach a goal without identifying it first, so, today, write down at least a two goals that you want to accomplish by the end of the month. Use the SMART acronym to help: Simple, Meaningful, Achievable, Realistic, Time bound. I use this when I want to make a change but I am not sure how – I tend to focus on just 90 days ahead rather than a full year or even 6 months because things can become too ‘big’ and scary. As an example, I want to join a local running group again but I know I need to get some fitness sorted before I join, I used SMART to set myself small running targets for the next eight weeks, just small runs out for 30 minutes or so. This is possible for me and I have decided that I will go three times a week – in reality this is just 90 minutes so it’s quite do-able.
Day 4: Self-Confidence: Take (acceptable) Risks
When faced with a new opportunity or challenge, do you tend to shy away? Although the possibility of failure is always present, building self-confidence means accepting the occasional defeat while not allowing it to deter you from your goals. As long as you approach each occasion as an opportunity to learn, realise that there can be no real losing. For today, try something that you’ve never done before or even better, try something that scares you just a little bit. At times of difficulty ask yourself ‘What am I learning?’ rather than ‘what went wrong’. I know there’s a lot of chatter about pushing out of your comfort zone and whilst I understand this you do need to ask yourself for whose benefit? For example I hate fairground rides! I hate roller coasters – I never have enjoyed them and at 46 years old this is not something I wish to partake in ever again because it serves no purpose and adds nothing to my life. Whereas designing a new class or workshop and ‘putting it out there’ is a bit scary because I am never sure if there will be any customers for it but it encourages me to be creative and adds to my self- confidence when people do come and say they enjoyed it – there is a real benefit here.
Day 5: Fake it until you make it!
Imposter syndrome is well known, my clients often think that they are going to get ‘found out’ for not being able to do their job properly even though they are often overqualified! It seems many of us suffer from this from time to time wondering if someone will discover we are a ‘fake’ even though deep down we know we aren’t. In sessions we work on clearing old beliefs and old identities – you might be surprised to know how many people still refer to themselves by a nickname from when they were younger or a label given to them: the quiet one, the organiser, the eldest responsible one, the baby of the family! Sometimes we need to focus on who we are now not who we were when we were 12 years old. Even if you’re not feeling one hundred per cent confident, today, act as if you are. Sometimes the best way to deal with any lingering fear or self-doubt it to just confront it head-on. ‘Acting as if’ is a confidence technique that many celebrities use on a daily basis copying behaviours of others who they feel look like they are ‘the real deal’. Want to try it? Today’s task is to find a celebrity/film star etc. who has some of the behaviours you feel you need to boost your confidence then imagine you have stepped into their shoes and ‘Act as if’ copying some of the behaviours. You can also do this with friends and colleagues ‘borrowing’ bits of people’s personalities to create your own avatar. I’m not suggesting you become someone else but you can ‘tweak’ your behaviours to help you overcome situations that may appear challenging to you. The more you practise the easier it becomes – useful when you need an extra confidence boost!
Day 6: Do something to nourish your soul.
Taking time out to do something that really nourishes your soul is a wonderful way of re-balancing your well-being. Getting out into nature, mindful walking or just ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’ are calming ways to get things in perspective and feel re-connected to your inner calm. Whether it’s painting, baking, singing, walking the dog or saying ‘no’ to the ironing, find something that makes your heart sing today. This is being in service to yourself and honouring your gifts – it is an investment in yourself that says you are worth the time. Remember balance in all things – as you give you also need to learn how to receive! Even if it is just one afternoon a week or a few hours in an exercise class or singing with a choir, do something just for you, I promise you it will be the best thing you can do for your own well-being.